Back to reading Brené Brown: in her Tedx talk (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0) she says: “shame is really easily understood as the fear of disconnection.” She also says that it is universal, we all have it.
The only people who don’t experience shame have no capacity for human empathy or connection. She explains that what forms the basis for this shame is the feeling of “I’m not good enough,” “I’m not blank enough, I’m not thin enough, rich enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, promoted enough.”
Before listening to Brené Brown’s work, I thought I experienced very little shame. I thought it was because I had done all this work on self-love. But now, with this definition, I see that I do experience this type of feeling (not smart enough, not impervious enough). And for me, that’s were the self-love comes in: noticing what I tell myself and bring compassion to the way I talk to myself or see myself.
Brené Brown also writes in Daring Greatly that shame disappear when we talk about it with someone we trust.