Author: MeliJoy Living

365 days of Self-Love and wholehearted living Day 53

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All this talk about gratitude is great but when I feel anxious or frustrated, gratitude seems harder to reach than when I am sitting in the sun looking at the cloud or having a good time. When I am bored or or feeling lackluster, trying to access gratitude can feel like reaching for something on the top shelf when I’m already carrying too much. I am learning that in those moments, it’s not about forcing myself to feel grateful, but about gently cracking the door open to it.

Here is what AI would tell someone who is in the situation I just described (not the reaching for the top shelf, accessing gratitude when it seems out of reach):

1. Start small. Ridiculously small.
Don’t try to leap into deep gratitude for your whole life. Try: “I’m grateful this cup is warm in my hands.” Or, “I’m grateful I can hear the birds outside.” You’re not trying to change your whole state — just let a tiny bit of light in.

2. Acknowledge what’s hard first.
Sometimes gratitude needs to follow validation. You can say: “This is really hard right now, and it makes sense that I feel this way.” Then, once you’ve acknowledged that, you might be more open to adding: “And I’m thankful I have a daily call I can join where I can talk to about it.”

3. Let your body lead.
If your mind won’t find gratitude, try going through the motions. Put your hand on your heart. Breathe in. Even say “thank you” out loud, without needing to mean it fully yet. It’s not fake — it’s priming the pump.

4. Borrow gratitude.
If you can’t find your own, think of someone else who might be feeling grateful. Like: “I imagine someone out there is thankful for a warm meal tonight.” Sometimes just remembering that gratitude exists out there helps reconnect you to it.

5. Don’t make it a performance.
Gratitude isn’t about pretending things are fine when they’re not. It’s about finding one small, solid thing to stand on in the storm. Even if it’s just, “I made it through today.”

365 days of Self-Love and wholehearted living Day 52

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I was in a class where someone said that we can not be anxious when we are in gratitude. The part of our brain that does anxiety is the same that does gratitude.

I asked Chat GPT if there was research about that and the answer was “Yes! The idea that anxiety and gratitude are processed in the same part of the brain comes from neuroscience research on the limbic system, particularly the amygdala and prefrontal cortex”.

I’ll spare you the actual research data but I thought this was worth noting: “Because the same brain areas process both anxiety and gratitude, you can train your brain to focus more on gratitude, which helps reduce anxious thoughts. This is why gratitude practices—such as journaling, verbalizing appreciation, or even thinking of three things you’re grateful for—can be effective in calming anxiety.”

I did 365 days of gratitude in 2015 and absolutely loved how after 3 weeks, the practice made a big difference in my outlook on life.

365 days of Self-Love and wholehearted living Day 51

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I am reading the book “Not Today” by Erica and Mike Schultz in which they talk about time. We all have the same amount of time so not having enough time is not really time management but rather priority management.

In the book, the authors talk about Treasured time, Investment time, Mandatory time, and Empty time. And they talk about how treasured time activities can become empty time. This really made sense to me when I looked back at that game that I mentioned in my previous post: At first, playing that game was exciting and fun. Then it became a distraction a way to escape the present moment. It went from treasured time to empty time.

Do you have activities that used to be treasured time that became empty time?

365 days of Self-Love and wholehearted living Day 50

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After programming my phone for the evening black and white, I noticed that there was a game on my phone that I had become addicted in. I didn’t play it in the evening anymore because I needed the colors to play it. But I still played it during the day more than I wanted to.

I have no issue with playing games on my phone as long as it is not taking away from living my life fully.

In this case, that game was using too much real estate in my days… I didn’t want to delete the game because I had reached really high levels and I enjoyed the difficulty. So I programmed my phone to go to black and white as soon as I opened the game app. I could turn the programming off but since I did not know yet how to turn it off, it would put enough in the way of playing this game and I was able to stop. I didn’t even try because I would remember that my screen would turn to black and white so there was no point in even opening the app.

This was another act of self love for me as it helped me be more in control of where I choose to spend my time. I also get to look at why do I feel like pulling up my phone and playing this game. And I replaced it with taking some deeper breath.

365 days of Self-Love and wholehearted living Day 49

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In the evenings where I don’t go upstairs at 8 pm, I find myself still doing things on my phone. Since the phone is known to affect the quality of sleep, I would prefer to be someone who puts my phone down at a certain time at night.

I read an article that offered a brilliant idea: program your phone to go to black and white at a specific time every night.

So I did (using instructions found on YouTube after 8 pm one night😊).

My phone now automatically turns to black and white at 8pm every day. I have been able to put it down more since then.

I didn’t realize at the time, but now I see this as an act of self-love.

What can you do to support yourself in letting go of your distraction just a little bit?

365 days of Self-Love and wholehearted living Day 48

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I have been inspired to write again about my journey in self-love.

I am an early riser. I love getting up early. But I also like to keep going in the evening so I would be left with frustration of not getting up early enough for my liking or not enough sleep.

So I made a pact with myself to go upstairs to start my bedtime routine at 8pm. It is more time than I need to get myself ready for bed for 9 pm, but it signals my body and my brain nicely that we are in wind downtime. I didn’t realize until recently that the decision is an act of self-love that I practice every single day.

Some days, I stay up / downstairs longer and on those days, I use self-love to accept what is and accept doing my best.

Where in your life can you bring in self-love to accept yourself as you are?

365 days of Self-Love and wholehearted living Day 47

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Embracing our imperfections is a crucial aspect of self-love. Recognizing areas where we can extend self-forgiveness is an important step in nurturing a more compassionate relationship with ourselves.

Yesterday, I created a meal plan and shared my commitment to stick to it with my accountability partner. However, just before dinner, I noticed some leftover salad from my husband’s lunch. My mind started rationalizing: “This looks appetizing… Just a small portion won’t hurt… It’s healthy, being a salad… We shouldn’t waste food… It’ll be delicious.” I ended up serving myself a small portion for dinner.

Later, when preparing to update my accountability partner, I realized I had deviated from my plan without even noticing it in the moment. This situation illustrates a pattern in my behavior: setting an intention and then losing sight of it.

In practicing self-love, I am forgiving myself and recommit to my intention. It’s about acknowledging the lapse, learning from it, and moving forward with renewed focus.

What actions or thoughts might you need to forgive yourself for?

365 days of Self-Love and wholehearted living Day 46

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Today, I was rewriting my website and I wondered what is the link between joy, self-love, and wholehearted living. So I asked Claude.ai and here is what he said:

“Joy, self-love, and wholehearted living are closely interconnected concepts that contribute to overall well-being and fulfillment. Here’s an exploration of their relationship:

1. Foundation of Self-Love:

   – Self-love forms the basis for both joy and wholehearted living.

   – When you truly accept and appreciate yourself, you’re more open to experiencing joy.

   – Self-love enables you to live wholeheartedly by allowing you to be authentic and vulnerable.

2. Joy as a Result:

   – Practicing self-love and living wholeheartedly often leads to increased joy.

   – Joy can be seen as both a byproduct and a reinforcing element of self-love and wholehearted living.

3. Authenticity:

   – Wholehearted living involves being true to yourself.

   – This authenticity fosters self-love and creates space for genuine joy.

4. Resilience:

   – Self-love builds resilience, which is crucial for wholehearted living.

   – This resilience allows you to maintain a sense of joy even in challenging times.

5. Positive Self-Perception:

   – Self-love improves how you see yourself.

   – This positive self-image contributes to wholehearted living and opens you up to more joyful experiences.

6. Vulnerability:

   – Wholehearted living requires embracing vulnerability.

   – This openness can deepen self-love and lead to more profound experiences of joy.

7. Gratitude:

   – Self-love often cultivates gratitude.

   – Gratitude is a key component of wholehearted living and a significant source of joy.

8. Present-Moment Awareness:

   – Wholehearted living emphasizes being present.

   – This presence enhances self-awareness (crucial for self-love) and allows for a fuller experience of joy.

9. Emotional Intelligence:

   – Self-love and wholehearted living both require and develop emotional intelligence.

   – This emotional awareness and regulation can lead to more consistent experiences of joy.

10. Meaningful Connections:

    – Self-love enables healthier relationships.

    – Wholehearted living involves nurturing these connections.

    – Strong, authentic relationships are a significant source of joy.

In essence, these concepts form a virtuous cycle: as you cultivate self-love, you’re more likely to live wholeheartedly, which in turn opens you up to greater joy. This joy then reinforces your sense of self-worth and encourages continued wholehearted living.”

I agree wholeheartedly!!!

365 days of Self-Love and wholehearted living Day 45

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I mentioned wanting to talk about spirituality and not knowing what to say. The subject is still asking to be talked about. 

I listened to a podcast where the person interviewed mentioned his goal of normalizing talking about spirituality. 

I feel it’s a touchy subject because of its closeness to the word God. When I started my Geotran journey, I was angry with God and with all that was happening in the world “in the name of God”.

I had to use Geotran on myself to create peace for myself around that word. 

From that peace, I was able to hear the word without reacting. I was also able to decide what I wanted to believe. 

The peace around the word God allowed me to differentiate the idea of God / Spirit / Universe from what humans are doing. 

What is spirituality for you?